Affirming Words

Whether we like it or not, words affect us. It is said that the tongue has the power of life and death. Mark Twain once said, “I can live for two months on a good compliment.”


If we compare our emotional condition to a tank, many of us may agree that we are operating with a very low or empty emotional tank. We can recall a moment where someone wounded us with harsh words that still haunt us today. Sometimes these words paralyze us, and keep us from moving forward or taking risks. But, hopefully we are also able to recall a powerful statement spoken to us that built us up and sent us on a positive journey.


Sometimes an affirming word is all we need to set us on the right path. The other day, I was talking with a mom at the basketball gym about how great her daughter’s basketball skills were. This mother mentioned that a coach at school, in passing, said something simple like, “I could really use someone with your height on our team this year!” These simple words gave her daughter the confidence to start playing basketball. This mother also stated her daughter’s confidence has improved and now feels a sense of belonging.


“To affirm” something, by definition, means that you are declaring something to be true. Therefore, using words with others that are not necessarily true will lose their effectiveness.

We all could benefit from words of affirmation.


Rightly so, verbal affirmations are powerful communicators in any relationship. This specifically is true in marriages. Here is a list of verbal affirmations every wife and husband need to hear, only if it’s true, of course!


 20 statements wives need to hear:


  1. You are beautiful!
  2. Thank you for preparing that meal
  3. You are a great mother!
  4. Look how much our kids love you!
  5. You are doing a fantastic job
  6. Thank you for..
  7. You inspired me when….
  8. I love your smile!
  9. I’m so thankful to be married to you
  10. 1 You never cease to amaze me
  11. 1 You are so good to me!
  12. 1 You look really good in that…
  13. 1 You are so kind
  14. 1 You make life fun
  15. 1 I will never stop loving you
  16. I definitely married up!
  17. You’ve got this!
  18. I would love to help out
  19. I’m grateful to have you as a best friend
  20. Thank you for your support


20 statements husbands need to hear:



  1. Thank you for working so hard
  2. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
  3. Thank you for listening
  4. That’s a great idea!
  5. Thank you for caring
  6. I admire your strength
  7. I trust you completely
  8. You make things happen
  9. Thanks for fixing that
  10. 1 How can I help?
  11. 11. I admire your faith
  12. 1 You are an amazing father!
  13. 1 How are you so handsome?!
  14. 1 I can’t stop looking at you
  15. Wow! Thank you!
  16. Thanks for all of your help around the house
  17. Thank you for leading, directing and protecting our family!
  18. You did amazing
  19. Thanks for doing that
  20. 2 That was really kind of you



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